Identity Theft

If I were a girl

I’d masturbate all day

& if I were a gangster

I’d blow some c*nt away

& if I were a copper

I’d love to lock

the trigger happy f*cker up in jail

Though if I were their lover

I might try get ‘em out on bail


If I were a rock star

I’d search for fame and glory

Though if I were Kirk Cobain

I might try rewrite

my Nirvana searching story


If I were Hussien

I’d send the Kerds to heaven

Though if I were a milkman

I’d just deliver them by seven


If I were a frog

I wouldn’t live in France

& if I were a monkey

For you I would not dance


If I were a psychopath

I wouldn’t give a f*ck

& If I were a terrorist

I’d like a bit of luck


If I were a marshmallow

I’d go gooey on the fire

Though if I said I was an honest man

Then I’d still be a liar


If I worked in sewers

I’d want boots that didn’t leak

& if I were a voyeur

I’d want a better peak


If I were a hedgehog

I’d want Dunlop bursting spines

And a Kevlar underbelly

To fuck those exotic porcupines


If I were an alien

I wouldn’t come in peace

& if  I were  a sexy girl

I’d  like  to be  Caprice


If I were a prostitute

I’d like to be well used

& if I were a boxer

I’d like to see you badly bruised


If I were offensive

I’d like to do it well

& if I were a Christian

I’d watch you Heathens rot in hell


But as I am this Twisted Youth

I’ve just one thing I dream to say

That I merely want more truth and love

And for it to come my way



2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Mikel J. Koven on November 9, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    Like the energy of this! A lot!!



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